Why the silence around men in abortion discourse perpetuates injustice and undermines real reproductive freedom.
By Matthew A. McIntosh
Public Historian
Brewminate
Introduction
For decades, the public debate around reproductive rights — and particularly abortion — has been framed almost exclusively as a “women’s issue.” The image most often conjured is of a lone woman, standing at the center of a moral, medical, and political storm, shouldering the full weight of one of the most consequential decisions a person can make. Laws are passed to regulate her body. Protesters gather to shame her. Politicians invoke her uterus with fervent zeal. Entire clinics are bombed in the name of her choices.
But where, in all this, is the man who helped create the pregnancy?
This glaring absence isn’t incidental — it’s structural. The reproductive rights conversation in the United States (and much of the world) has consistently excluded men from moral scrutiny, legal accountability, and cultural interrogation. And in doing so, it upholds the very patriarchal logic it claims to resist: that reproduction is a woman’s burden, and hers alone.
If we are to speak honestly about reproductive freedom, we must also speak about male responsibility — not as an afterthought, but as a core pillar of justice.
Pregnancy Has Two Biological Contributors
At the most basic biological level, conception does not happen without a sperm. Every pregnancy is a joint event. Yet the overwhelming focus of public policy, media coverage, and social stigma falls solely on the person who carries the pregnancy — almost always a woman or person with a uterus.
From mandatory waiting periods and invasive ultrasounds to heartbeat bills and criminal investigations, women are scrutinized in ways men simply are not. No one requires a man to explain his ejaculation before a judge. No legislation mandates that he receive counseling before impregnating someone. No protester waves signs outside his home accusing him of murder for failing to use a condom.
This imbalance is not just unfair — it is ideologically regressive. It reinforces the outdated belief that women are natural caretakers and men are natural absconders, that women are “responsible” for reproduction and men are conveniently peripheral. But responsibility — legal, ethical, financial, and moral — must be shared.
Mandatory Child Support from Conception
One radical but necessary idea gaining traction is the notion of mandatory child support from the moment of conception. If anti-abortion lawmakers argue that life begins at conception, then so too should legal responsibility.
This would mean that men — not just women — bear financial accountability for prenatal care, missed work, housing instability, and other pregnancy-related costs. For low-income pregnant people, this support could be life-changing.
Opponents claim it’s difficult to establish paternity before birth. But in a world of genetic testing and invasive laws targeting pregnant women, that excuse rings hollow. If the state can demand forced ultrasounds, it can also compel pre-birth financial support.
This policy would force society to confront an uncomfortable truth: if you can coerce someone into carrying a pregnancy, you must also hold the other contributor accountable. Anything less is state-sanctioned gender inequality.
Male Contraceptive Responsibility
The vast majority of contraceptive methods — from birth control pills and IUDs to implants and emergency contraception — fall squarely on people with uteruses. The development of a male birth control pill has been stalled for decades, not because it’s biologically impossible, but because the medical system has been reluctant to prioritize male contraceptive side effects — the same side effects routinely endured by women.
Moreover, the social burden of contraception is heavily gendered. Women are expected to “be responsible,” to plan and prepare, to bear the costs and manage the logistics. Meanwhile, men are rarely socialized to see contraception as their responsibility — emotionally, physically, or morally.
Imagine a society where boys are taught from adolescence about reproductive ethics, where vasectomies are normalized as reversible and responsible, and where men are expected to discuss birth control before sex — not after pregnancy. That is a world where reproductive freedom might begin to balance.
Social Norms and Masculinity in Reproduction
Perhaps the most insidious contributor to this imbalance is cultural. Our definitions of masculinity remain deeply rooted in detachment — emotionally, sexually, and reproductively. Many men are raised to view sex as conquest, pregnancy as inconvenience, and parenting as optional.
In media, unplanned pregnancies are often played for laughs or framed as the woman’s “problem.” Deadbeat dads are normalized, even glamorized, while responsible fatherhood is framed as exceptional. This cultural narrative shapes real behavior: men who leave, lie, pressure, or deny. And society shrugs.
What we need is a new masculinity — one grounded in emotional maturity, ethical sexual behavior, and shared reproductive accountability. Reproductive justice is not just about access to abortion — it’s about transforming power structures, and that means transforming masculinity itself.
The Political Convenience of Male Absence
Let’s not ignore the political utility of this imbalance. By keeping men out of the reproductive rights debate, politicians avoid uncomfortable questions:
- Why are there no laws mandating male birth control?
- Why is paternity fraud a political talking point, but male reproductive abandonment isn’t?
- Why do we criminalize women for abortion but not men for coercion, sabotage, or abandonment?
The system protects male privilege by never asking men to answer for the consequences of their reproductive choices. And as long as men are absent from accountability, the conversation will remain incomplete.
Reimagining a Just Framework
If we are truly committed to reproductive justice, we must demand a paradigm shift — one that recognizes:
- That pregnancy is a shared event and must carry shared responsibility
- That men must be part of the moral conversation, not exempt from it
- That legal structures must evolve to reflect joint accountability
- That cultural expectations around masculinity must change
This is not about blame. It’s about balance. It’s about recognizing that bodily autonomy cannot exist in a vacuum where one person bears the full consequence of a two-person act.
Conclusion: A Call to Inclusion, Not Exemption
The fight for reproductive rights has long been led by women, and rightfully so — they have borne the heaviest burden. But if men continue to be left out of the conversation, not as allies but as participants, then we will never truly achieve justice.
It’s time to stop treating pregnancy as something that “happens to women.” It’s time to start asking hard questions about the men involved — and demanding answers, laws, and norms that reflect the truth:
No one conceives alone.
Originally published by Brewminate, 07.09.2025, under the terms of a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license.
